Why Baby Massage Brought Calm Back Into My Life

After I had Finley, life became both beautiful and blurry.

The days melted into nights. My body ached in ways I hadn’t known before.
I loved him beyond words yet I often felt like I was holding my breath.

People said, “Rest when the baby rests.” But when Finley finally closed his eyes, my mind kept ticking. There was washing to do, messages I hadn’t replied to.
Even when it was quiet, I couldn’t find calm.

One morning, after another sleepless night, I sat with Finley in my arms, watching the light fall across his tiny hands, and I remember whispering, “How do I slow down enough to really feel this?”

That moment changed everything.

The first time I tried baby massage

I didn’t start because I wanted to learn a new technique.
I started because I needed a way to breathe again.

I warmed a little oil between my palms, unsure what to do next. Finley was only a few weeks old. The room was quiet, filled with that soft early morning light.

I began to gently move my hands over his legs, his arms just slow, steady strokes.

At first, it felt awkward. Then something shifted. His breathing deepened, his tiny shoulders softened, and a calmness filled the room.

I realised my own body had started to relax too.

For the first time in weeks, I exhaled fully.

It wasn’t about getting it right. It was about connection a quiet, wordless moment where both of us felt safe.

What I learned about calm

I later discovered the science behind that moment.
When we touch our babies in a calm, rhythmic way, both our bodies release oxytocin the hormone of bonding and safety.

Our heart rate slows. Our nervous system softens.

It made perfect sense. What Finley and I shared that morning wasn’t a “routine.” It was our way of coming home to each other.

Calm isn’t something we find for our babies it’s something we create with them.

The ripple effect

Those few minutes with Finley became our daily anchor.
He began to sleep more deeply. I started to feel lighter, less anxious, more present.

Baby massage didn’t just help him; it helped me.
It reminded me that I didn’t need to be doing more I needed to be feeling more.

That’s what calm really is.

Why I teach it now

That simple, tender beginning became the heart of everything I do at Home Retreat NI.

I know how it feels to give endlessly and forget your own softness.
I know how lonely those early weeks can feel the love and the overwhelm sitting side by side.

And I know that healing doesn’t have to be big or loud. Sometimes it starts with a small hand, warm oil, and ten quiet minutes of connection.

That’s why I created an online baby massage course that helps mums, like I once was, find a slower, gentler rhythm with their babies.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about presence.
A few mindful minutes that bring calm back to you both.